May 2014
I don’t feel happy anymore. Nothing seemed to excite me
anymore. Things were not going as I have hoped for. I have poured a lot effort
to make this work but nothing seem to avail. Work oppression has definitely
leave an adverse impact on my life. Well actually, in precise, the environment
& ambiance made me trudge to work. Everyday my ultimate aim was to clock
out at 5.30pm. This is so not me. This is very unhealthy. It is demoralizing on
so many levels.
I have serve this company for 5 years. I can still recall
the day I came for my interview. Baba accompanied me that day; like always. My
father the hero. He is always there when I’m having cold feet and butterflies
in my stomach. Then he will give me his speech on life and how challenges mold
us to be better. And 5 years have passed since that very day.
But was I ready to move on? Was I ever ready to submit my
resume and made that click? I was so complacent and the thought of starting
fresh from the bottom was definitely not amusing. Besides, the uncertainty of
what the future holds really twist a knot in my core. A good friend once
advised me “Allah SWT gives us hints (hidayah) at all times. It is just a
matter of us to look through it”. And yeaaaah, I think I noticed several hints
but the 1st step of making that change was not easy. It took me a
lot courage. It means I would have to change and that is BIG.
September 2014
After a series of interviews and weeks of patience, I
received a positive news. I really did not expected a constructive answer as
the road was tough. The first thing that came across my mind was “How am I
going to break this news to my colleagues & friends?”. Complacent. Content.
These emotions will no longer be a part of me for the next few years. Will I be
ready for it? Suddenly it hit me right there; OMG I am going to depart from my
comfort zone. MasyaAllah………
2 days away from official report for duty. I haven’t pack a
thing. I really wasn’t looking forward for a beginner’s induction program.
“Hye, I’m Dora. And I’m bored. And I don’t wanna be here. Can I just start to
work like.. now?”. I wish things were as easy as that. But nope; I have to
endure beginner’s induction program. Now where is my luggage again?
1 December 2014
Registration day. Hmmm….. I stood there all alone in the
very long queue waiting for my turn. As I observed the scene, everyone looked
so young, slim, thin, fresh from graduation & positive. Well, you haven’t
tasted life kids. I refuse to speak to anyone. I just stood there, hugging
myself and fetch my things when my number was up. I walked all by myself as we
were asked to proceed to the gathering hall. Again; I wasn’t bothered to speak
to anyone.
I saw a girl with a Pakistani features “She looks nice &
lonely. Pity her”. So I said hello and we were acquainted throughout the day.
By the grace of Allah SWT, I met Seina. Apparently, we came from the same
background and we were holding back a lot of feelings. The uncertainty. We instantly
became close as I reckon she understands me the most. Alhamdulillah, she is
such a sweetie pie. That was my 1st friend here in Petronas.
The induction program was made compulsory for 8 days + 1 day
+ 3 days so that means 2 freaking weeks for me. The early days felt so long and
was drowning was energy. I wasn’t present. My heart was still longing for
Proton but I knew that I must move on. Until one day when both the facilitators
discussed an emotional topic “Why Are You Here?”. Oh yesssss, it definitely broke
me down to tears. I cried during that session. I could hear other kids were
whispering out of curiosity but no one dares to approach me as I was still
wearing my morbid look. I was still holding back.
It took me awhile to open up and I just continue with the
compulsory activities; delivering presentations. Oh presentations….. The 1st
presentation was definitely not my cup of tea; the topic was solely on Oil
& Gas or Exploration & Production. They sound soooo French to me. So I wasn’t
bothered. Luckily the subsequent presentations were leaning more to my skills.
Topics on work culture, business trend etc were definitely my forte. That’s
when a few girls came up to me. Praising my presentation and asking me
questions. That is where it all began. I begin to open up. I begin to talk. I begin
to make friends. And hey! They were not bad at all huh….
 |
| Not bad at all... |
30 December 2014
So here I am today. Completed the induction program and
seated at my work station. It has been 2 weeks since I’m here and I haven’t started
anything yet. Many people are on leave for the holidays. It’s alright then. Let
me embrace these peace moments while I can.
MasyaAllah SubhanaAllah…. May Allah SWT ease all my
undertakings….
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