Resilience paved forward

2018

It has been truly been quite a roller coaster ride this year. Be it at national level, at my workplace, within my marriage, between my kids and even within me. Let’s start with the kids shall we?

Piya has entered Standard 1 and my oh my! This new phase of life made me lose my balance from the spinning top. Work has been more demanding than ever so I’ve lost more than 50% of my energy during the day. Work doesn’t stop as we reached home, I’m sure many mothers can relate when I say my second ‘shift’ began as soon as I fetch the kids from schools. You gotta do the laundry, you gotta put dinner on the table, you gotta scrub the pots, check the homework, pack the bags and put things in order for tomorrow. Such repetition squeezed every ounce of strength I have which occasionally leads to unnecessary migraines. C’est la vie! When the Government said that there will be a new education system for Standard 2 in 2019, I welcome the news with great relief albeit I still have fear for the unknown. Let’s keep crossing our fingers that the formula would work and wouldn’t need much of untangling later.

Zaheera… My bubbly and talkative little girl. Time passes by and she grows by the hour. She is still the gem among the Kelantanese plus she is currently the youngest grandchild of all. For now of course. Beneath the layers of pain that I’ve endured previously, I’m grateful that it does led to beautiful things. Take rapport for instance. She brought me closer to my in-laws and I see my parents-in-law more often than usual. We would leave the kids with them during long holidays which is quite unusual when Piya was the only child. But I don’t mind the notion now, for I accepted the fact that many people love her and everyone is asking a piece of the pie. Better love than hate right? So yeaaaah, it’s goooood…

Work…. Well, I took a leap of faith by showing everyone my potential this year. What I’m really good at and that my friend, is holding the microphone. I joined this current position and department after I return from Sabah and it has only been more than a year. I sealed things from people because you don’t show your talent on your first day of school right? You gotta observe and keep things to yourself as a start. My boss pointed out that I have shown rapid improvement compared to last year. And I told him ‘I was observing. This has always been me’. “Don’t curse the darkness” they say, “instead light a candle”. Things do get tough especially when you are lacking of support and resources, but it is pointless to curse at the predicament, rather, find your way around and iron out your own shit. And that my friend, what brought me to greater heights. Each time. I just hope it will all pays off for I have sacrificed a lot of sweat and energy in the name of the department.

So for 2019, I hope I will have more time for my parents… They’re a couple of benevolent parents who have done so much for me. Who made me who I am today. I hope Allah SWT will light my path in finding myself too, gives me strength for every predicaments that awaits. MasyaAllah there is just so many things to pray for but I won’t pen them here, because this isn’t a praying mat… Just sayin….

To a hopeful year ahead!