Salam and good morning..
Sweet November.. I love November, very much. I think the
reason is quite palpable no? It's my birth month hence the overabundance of
love for November is significant to mention. So yeah; I love November so
much that sometimes I'm inflicting the pain to myself purposely by placing high
hopes on people and hoping for a better fate. That is definitely one of the
stink traits about me though. I can't help it.
Baba always (always) remind me the best daddy's advice; Never hope for anything from anyone. Which
unfortunately I do. I do placed hopes on certain people in my life especially
people within my radius because I was taught that if you do good to others, the
favor will be returned in good manners too. Buat baik dibalas baik...? Growing
up with deep cuts and deprivations encourages me to lend a hand or a shoulder
to cry on whenever a friend is in need. Perennial exasperation taught me to be
kind to others as I do not want others to endure the bad experiences I had when
I was in their shoes. Be comprehend to others. A wise man once told me; Seek to understand and be understood. That notion has
been deeply rooted in my core and has always been at the back of my medulla
oblongata.
The purpose of this entry? Since it is my birth month, I'm
just reminiscing on the trail of events that took place in my life. Looking back
on the things I've done, people I've placed hope, deeds I expected in return
(buat baik dibalas baik remember..?) and the most hurtful thought; circumstances / people who have totally crushed
my hopes.
I'm just looking back but I'm not jotting the ugly deeds here. Instead, I decided
to move forward and dwell with baba's advice; stop placing hope on other
people. Stop hoping that people would be thoughtful towards you just because
you always think about their welfare. Stop expecting people to be nice to you
just because you perceived them as close friends. Most importantly; stop
expecting people to follow suit like you. With that, I pray that people who
have deter my rainbow kaleidoscope hopes will taste their own medicine someday.
I'm tired and I've done my do.
I'm turning 30 next year. I hope I will have a stronger
heart to withstand such stupidity derived from ignorance people. I hope I can
forgive them.. I really do.
Dear Allah, let November be awesome.. at least for my poor fragile heart..
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