Thursday, June 25, 2015

I wonder what's next

Assalamualaikum and hello..

This has been the toughest Ramadhan week thus far…. Hmmmm *sigh….
Baba has been dealing with his diabetes for many years now and he stop taking the insulin 5 year ago. Well, he just had had enough he said. Turning to alternative remedies didn’t help much either and last weekend was the part where I had to draw the line. Enough is enough. It was really painful just to gaze at him; a frail skinny look, like walking a zombie if I may… He looked dreadful and it was really worrying… Although we get to make plenty of jokes about his physiques but jokes aside; he is sick..

I didn’t feel at ease erstwhile in the office. I just don’t. It took me awhile to finally figure out on managing this issue because ironically my job function in PET is to identify & manage potential risk / threat to the business nature so why can’t I manage this palpable risk at home? I took the evening off and went straight home. Lucky me though; a good school friend of mine is a doctor at Klinik Mediviron Denai Alam which is a shy of 5 minute away. Speaking of convenience huh. I made an appointment with him prior persuading baba and inform him surface details of his ailment.

I was extremely glad Baba embrace my good doctor very well. His name is Dr. Prashan. Bless you buddy…. He listened, nodded, voice out his concerns and listened further. Most importantly Dr. Prashan put some senses into him the level of his illness. The worst thing that could ever happen is to fall into a coma and I noticed that information made Baba quite startled. We were strongly advised to go to the hospital as soon as we can. But we kinda need to iftar as well so we manage to make a move at 9.00pm.

Instead of heading to those glamorous private hospitals, we opted for Hospital Selayang instead because Baba doesn’t have insurance. Now you see the importance of having an insurance? Seeking privates would cost us thousands henceforward we put the thought on KIV. We wanted to test the hearsay of government hospitals and vouch the numerous testimonials. The verdict; it was BAD………. Really BAD….. Horrific and unbearable if I may. Poor Baba.

Upon registering, we were directed to the Yellow Zone in the emergency ward. As there were no available beds, we were placed at a sofa for treatment. The ergonomic of the sofa was bad enough which made me ponder how could they allow such thing in the first place? Baba sat there for 4 hours while the insulin drips in via IV tube. I, on the other hand, sat on the freaking cold floor for 4 hours. Speaking of body ache huh. Thankfully Baba responded to the insulin hence we were allowed to go home. It was 2.30am by then.

As I was handling Baba as sober as I can, Piya apparently had a viral fever again. I simply couldn’t fathom why. I really tried as hard as I can to stay awake and soak her at nights but then Red Aunty paid a visit which leads me to be a gone case………. So poor Uncle Din had to care for both of us and yet go to the office the very next day.

This has been a tough week for me. Last week I was grieving for the passing of a model friend and this week I’m stress with Baba’s issue. One thing after another unfolds but by the grace of Allah, everything falls into place. As the dust has settled, you will begin to see the message between the lines…. It is so hard to be strong sometimes but you don’t get to choose fate. Sometimes fate chose you..


*sigh


Tuesday, June 09, 2015

My daily routine to work

Assalamualaikum & hello….

As you may know, working in KL (KLCC to be exact) is kind of effort consuming especially the part of getting here to and fro. I don’t drive to work and have no future intention of doing so. I’m truly happy to commute via LRT thus far. But there is a catch; a major change to my daily routine. Oh my…

4.30am
Terkedip-kedip mata jeling kat phone.. 10 more minutes.. 10 more minutes.. Snooooze….

5.00am
Re-heat the kettle as Uncle Din brings his own coffee from home to work. *nerrrd… Masak nasi..Tumis2 masak bekal untuk Uncle Din because if I don’t prepare his snack pack, he won’t eat the entire day. And kemas dapur while waiting for all these to be done.

5.20am
Change Piya’s diaper and make her some milk. Bath and get dress.

5.40am
Subuh in my gym attire. Teeeeheee

6.10am
Arrive at LRT Kelana Jaya station. And I just looooove parking in the front row.

6.40am
Hello KLCC! *pfffft………

6.50am
Burn those fats baby! Crunches, planks, Russian twist, run 1, 2 km on the threadmill, lunges and such.

8.00am
Here I am sitting at my desk and people thought I just came in….. have some breakfast and start to do my work.

5.00pm
And I’m done! Pack my things and rush to the LRT station.

6.00pm
Fetch Piya from her school just at the nick of time. I hate paying those OTs.

6.30pm
Cook dinner (daily hokaaaaaaaaaay….oh my) and get the table ready for Uncle Din.

7.30pm
Maghrib and do the laundry. Prepare Piya’s school bag for the next day, my gym attire and office attire too. Uncle Din’s clothes doesn’t need ironing as he doesn’t mind….heeeeeee…

8.30pm
Sidai kain, Lipat kain, thaw frozen chicken / fish / meat for Uncle Din’s snack pack..

9.30pm
Doze off……. I wish……..

I sleep lesser these days. Sometimes I wake up at 4.30am and have a very productive day. I gotta thanks my adrenaline rush as a result from working out at the gym. And unlike my previous job, I don’t even take naps anymore. I used to think I would die waking up too early but then again, everything is in your mind. Hopefully I can still be this optimistic when I have another baby again.. we’ll see how my schedule would look like huh..



Eat clean and stay fit people.

Prudent thoughts

Assalamualaikum and hello there..

It’s been awhile huh? I know… I often open this page and jot down things I wanted to share and later on, I’ll be having second thoughts as some things are best deemed for own keeping. I guess I truly have changed from where I began my journey with this blog. I used to share almost everything here but now, coming to think of it, I’ve began picking stories to share unlike before.

I surmised this change was rooted from a note shared viral in Facebook where it says that you may have good intentions of sharing what you’ve eat, visited, bought, what you are wearing or even how your child is developing. But little do they know (the people who likes to share EVERYTHING), their post updates hurts other people…. For instance “Oh my baby is so cute! She can now read a,b,c at the age of 3”. Sounds innocent right? But those on the receiving end may not be as lucky as you, they maybe are struggling to conceive, or their child is facing critical illness or worse, their child has passed away.

Another annoying example “Syukur Alhamdulillah a simple family holiday #hotel5bintang #oversea #ilovemylife”… Dude… Are you really being grateful or showing off? Because indebted people keep things to themselves for the fear of riak & takabur. I remember one story that should be made as a good exemplar; the wife of late Tok Guru Nik Aziz. Wallahualam the authenticity of the story but then again it conveys a good message. The story goes that one day the wife asked the husband why she is not accessorize with beautiful gold ornaments like other wives. The husband responded that such things should be kept from showing off to people because it may stir conflict in someone’s matrimony. Other wives who are less fortunate would yearn the same thing and create unnecessary argument with their husband. Hence, keep things to yourself. Be smart in sharing personal things about your life. Such a wise simple message from the late Tok Guru huh? Simple story but it hit me hard. #sentapmak

After construing these message from viral posts, it kind of change my perception of life in a major way. It makes me become more prudent in sharing stories be it in social media or even during an encounter. The best example I would like to share here is one annoying uncomfortable situation that I had to bare with. We were invited to a cousin’s house (Uncle Din’s side of the family) along with my dear SIL. The entire conversation was orbiting about my daughter and how I should have another one. They keep stressing the point and stating the obvious that I SHOULD HAVE ANOTHER BABY. They repeated this so many times up to a point where I could barely curt a smile anymore. And all I could think of was my poor SIL. I glanced at them as they grinned an uncomfortable smile. Just so you know, my SIL is still hoping for a child to enlighten her home even after 15 year tying the knot.

What’s the point of this post entry again? I’ve strayed soooo far from what I had in mind and now I can’t recall my intention…………… hhhmmmmmmmm….


Just saying; be prudent with the topic of your conversation and things you want to share with the public….


Thursday, February 05, 2015

Couch potato

Assalammualaikum & good morning…

I had a casual chat with one of my colleagues this morning whereby the question was “How was your long weekend?” Malaysia had a long weekend recently; Saturday, Sunday, Federal Territory Day & Thaipusam. Well, we are definitely a diverse culture country so I’m really grateful for alllll the holidays listed in our calendar. Back to the topic, my response to the question made her cringed followed by another question “Is that how married people lead their life??” Hmm… now this began to make me ponder and reflect on my life.. Again..

Like any other long holidays, Uncle Din and I really prefer to opt for a relaxing rest at home. We cook, clean, do the laundry and just lay back on our cheap sofa bed bought from IKEA watching cooking channels. I appreciate the tranquil atmosphere as my normal weekdays are very exhausting. So is this what life has to offer after we settled down with kids? I guess so but it is very much subject to the household itself. I reckon that being parents, we too need a break. Some has the financial stability to opt for a holiday retreat while some may insinuate spending time at home with kids. But such notion can only be appreciated by parents because once you become a parent, you will fathom that your kids is your world.

Nevertheless, to be fair to my Piya, we took her out for some air as I believe that the world is bigger than our LCD screen at home. We just went to One Utama Shopping Mall for a breather at the fish pond. Nothing much though but at least we moved our arse from the couch right.




I hope this pattern wouldn't fall into an abyss of boredom. Or I might have to wait until Piya begins to whine having boring parents. (-_____-)”


Wednesday, February 04, 2015

Life & such

Assalamualaikum & hellooooo February!

Wow…how time flies huh? We have entered the second month of the year man. My colleagues are having Xmas as they just received their annual bonus for the efforts poured in 2014. As for me, I’m just feeling happy for them. Since I have experiences of changing companies, I too have tasted the bitter smile of looking on other’s premium remuneration. My time will come; insyaAllah.

How is the year by far? Nothing much, still. I’m still kicking and rocking my modeling thing though but in a much slower tempo. I’m just not feeling confident with how I look these days or the fact that my body is not in its best shape. I haven’t jog for a while neither go to the gym and this sucks. I wake up 5.15am & I’m freaking tired every day when I arrived home as my task doesn’t end there; it would either be Uncle Din or me to fetch Piya from her play school, then I would have to do the laundry, put dinner on the table, pack Piya’s school bag, hang those clean laundry, fold the previous laundry & cook meals for the next day. Everything must be done by 9pm as I aim to sleep early. Phewww….. #life

A good friend of mine from Proton; Lat (she too has started a new journey with a different company now) gave me a wonderful insight. She told me that I have prayed to Allah SWT for this chance, for this new beginning and Allah SWT bestowed us on things that we can handle. I prayed for this to happen so suck it up & embrace all the hardships. I hate to admit it but she is 100% correct. I may whine once or twice but I’m not regretting any of my decision. I stand by my decision and I’m still going around it to find the best way to accommodate this new life. Goodness gracious me… #lifeagain

There was a casting the other day for a local renown muslimah magazine; Nur. They were scouting for their subsequent front cover girls and their criteria suits me well. I brought 2 of my new friends from PET to give it a try as I truly think they fit the picture. I don’t mind if I’m not selected but I praaaaay my girls would land a chance. You see, I have this odd habit of observing people & beauty is one of the apparent pulling factor. That is why I’m trying my best to introduce my new buddies into this modeling field. I have seen worse but somehow or rather they made it because they have deep passion to strive for it. We’ll see…




Is life going well as I foresee it to be? I guess so. Well… the veracity remains the same though; I’m very much happy now. InsyaAllah..