Zimbio Personality Test

Assalammualaikum...

Work oppression.. Not so much on the task given but the exasperation is more leaning towards liaising with so many people. People and their attitude. It just so happen that the project I'm coordinating is at its peak making me feel arduous. The laborious work required me to work from morning till night and skipping meals. The ceaseless task was a further annoyance when I had to work from home on holidays, weekends and even at night. All of this makes me ponder; what the hell am I doing? Why am I doing all this? Why am I so committed and killing myself? Would could had happened if I choose to turn one cheek on all these callings like some people I know? There are people who are so bold to ignore their responsibilities because they know the boss will ask someone else to do it for them. And yet, these people does not feel guilty at all. Shame on you.......

In such stance, I stumble upon a link in FB which was shared by friends on personality tests. Unlike the norm so-called personality test, this is more of a quiz on which movie character defines you best and shares the same attributes. I took the quiz with hopes I could have a better understanding of myself because it would be much easier relating oneself to movie characters. 

And here is my results.... 

1. Which Disney Princess Are You

 Pocahontas baby! I really felt awesome afterwards. I love Pocahontas. She is beautiful, strong, independent, assertive and an epitome of strong will women. 

2. Which Grey's Anatomy Character Are You

 April Kepner girl!! Maaan! I'm a big fan of Grey's Anatomy and have been following the TV series since episode 1 season 1. April is kinda new to the show and initially I was not so fond of her especially the ceaseless disparity with Lexie Grey. But once she took off as one of the main cast, her veracity deserves a standing ovation. It's hard to explain but I totally get her. I'm Kepner by the way!

3. Which Mean Girls Character Are You

 Gretchen Wienners...? Errr I beg to differ.. I'm not that lame and definitely not a minion to a heartless queen bee. I'm NOT....

4. Which Harry Potter Character Are You

 

Okay this kinda freaks me a little. I'm so akin to Luna..?? C'mon! I do understand her gypsy mind where she advocates "spread love, no war", her perennial optimistic attribute and definitely she does not give a damn on what others think of her. Am I like that....??

 

5. Which Star Wars Character Are You

 

Damn.............. This really scares me.. At least I'm not Choowiee.. or R2D2..

I admit I endured a struggling childhood and countless deprivation but I think I have overcome that. I believe I am better now today and deepest gratitude is to my husband who guides me to study Islamic knowledge through readings, sermon and mosque; you know just to have a better understanding about everything. I don't blame Allah SWT anymore nor punishing my parents. I don't blame fate nor my vicinity. I don't wanna be Darth Vader and this means that I have a fragile heart with high tendency to fall to the dark side. Woooow.. This is deep.

After completing all 5 quizzes, 1 thing I learned is that experiences mold my presence. I don't regret for what has happened but I don't intend to repeat them. Experience is the best teacher in life. In this regard, I need to improve oneself and sustain the good values to improve my future. Wisdom comes with age and I still have a lot to learn about life. I guess this quiz does answer my question up there. The character is deeply rooted and this is just who I am.....

Do try out the test here.Perhaps you too could understand your personality from a different angle.

Thank you for reading people.

Two words light on the tongue, heavy in balance, beloved to the Merciful

Assalammualaikum and happy Friday..

Since becoming a mother, I find it hard to visit mosque frequently unlike when my life was only my husband and I. My daughter is one of those who loves to around in spacious rooms and every time performing solat there, she would run around occupying the women's area while I tried my best to focus on my praying mat. Very difficult I say.... Besides, I hate disturbing others as I too, dislike children running freely around our praying space. To feed my yearning for sermons, I find peace in reading narrations beautifully written by our brothers and sisters here; Virtual Mosque.  Among prominent writers that are frequently contributing thoughts are sis Yasmin Mogahed, sis Maryam Amirebrahimi and even brother Suhaimi Webb himself; the founder of the website.

I stumble upon an article which narration circulates on a true story where a man found peace until his was on his dying bed in these words Subhan Allahi wa bihamdi, Subhan Allah il-`atheem. He stumbled upon these words when he decided to make an effort attending Friday prayer at a mosque nearby; one of the many prayers that he chose to take no notice at all. As he found a place to sit, he heard the khatib speak of these words “Two words are light on the tongue, heavy in the balance, beloved to the Merciful: ‘Glory be to Allah and by His praise. Glory be to Allah, the Immense.’” (Bukhari). Somehow or rather, this exact sentence took a toll on him and changed his life from being disregard to a reminder to others. 

As I was reading this, I too, had no inkling on the meaning of this. Two words are light on the tongue & heavy in the balance...?? No wonder the man keep repeating this sentence to himself many times in seeking the meaning behind this beautiful saying. I found a better explanation in this telling "There are two statements that are light for the tongue to remember, heavy in the Scales and are dear to the Merciful: `Subhan-Allahi wa bihamdihi, Subhan-Allahil-Azim [Glory be to Allah and His is the praise, (and) Allah, the Greatest is free from imperfection)]"... 

From what I decipher from this is that we must always remember Allah SWT. We do right? Sounds easy right? But how far do we do remember Him? Because if we remember him appropriately in line with the authentic Islamic way of life, we will realize that everything that we own, every sustenance that we have and every bliss that we are bestowed upon with belongs to Him. Which also means if He can make you, He can break you. He can take away everything in a blink of an eye because ALL THESE belongs to him. Subhanallaaaaaaaah... 

MasyaAllaaaah... if we could inculcate such notion deeply rooted in our hearts, I believe none of us would ever whine on how miserable our life is right? Why the rich is getting richer and the poor is becoming poorer? Subhanallaaaah... I cannot change others, only myself.... Lastly the telling says, Muslims who truly believes in Allah SWT should remember Him always in great remembrance...

 

Friday is always the day where I seek clarity and need some reminders... This is just my two cents on the beautiful story... The Prophet ﷺ has once said: ‘Convey from me, even if it’s just one ayah'.... I'm not good in passing on sermons but let's give it a try yea.. 

Stop placing hopes on others

Salam and good morning..

Sweet November.. I love November, very much. I think the reason is quite palpable no? It's my birth month hence the overabundance of love for November is significant to mention. So yeah; I love November so much that sometimes I'm inflicting the pain to myself purposely by placing high hopes on people and hoping for a better fate. That is definitely one of the stink traits about me though. I can't help it.

 Baba always (always) remind me the best daddy's advice; Never hope for anything from anyone. Which unfortunately I do. I do placed hopes on certain people in my life especially people within my radius because I was taught that if you do good to others, the favor will be returned in good manners too. Buat baik dibalas baik...? Growing up with deep cuts and deprivations encourages me to lend a hand or a shoulder to cry on whenever a friend is in need. Perennial exasperation taught me to be kind to others as I do not want others to endure the bad experiences I had when I was in their shoes. Be comprehend to others. A wise man once told me; Seek to understand and be understood. That notion has been deeply rooted in my core and has always been at the back of my medulla oblongata.

The purpose of this entry? Since it is my birth month, I'm just reminiscing on the trail of events that took place in my life. Looking back on the things I've done, people I've placed hope, deeds I expected in return (buat baik dibalas baik remember..?) and the most hurtful thought; circumstances / people who have totally crushed my hopes. 

 

I'm just looking back but I'm not jotting the ugly deeds here. Instead, I decided to move forward and dwell with baba's advice; stop placing hope on other people. Stop hoping that people would be thoughtful towards you just because you always think about their welfare. Stop expecting people to be nice to you just because you perceived them as close friends. Most importantly; stop expecting people to follow suit like you. With that, I pray that people who have deter my rainbow kaleidoscope hopes will taste their own medicine someday. I'm tired and I've done my do. 

I'm turning 30 next year. I hope I will have a stronger heart to withstand such stupidity derived from ignorance people. I hope I can forgive them.. I really do.  

 Dear Allah, let November be awesome.. at least for my poor fragile heart.. 

Doing good deeds

It is inexplicable on why does the heart and mind whither to such direction. Perhaps it is an indication of a dire need of change; for better of course. 

Expanding on that, my thoughts to ponder for today is quite simple and realistic; would you agree that random act of kindness leaves a lasting imprint in the hearts of those on the receiving ends? Well, they do. Always be kind to others even if the notion is not agreeable by your vicinity. The reason I’m saying this is because I know for a fact that some people prefer to grasp on the past and hold on to grudge. They say “Life is tough. Only the strong will survive.” Well, I on the other hand would say “Life IS tough. But Allah is Great.” My ethos is simple; the reward comes from Allah and He will decide when and where you will receive good deeds in return. Not the people. People will never stop judging you but their judgment shouldn't bother you because you should be concerning on what Allah thinks of you. So, just continue being nice to others. 

Being nice also brings the meaning of appreciating yourself. Love yourself before others can love you. When you love yourself and opt to be nice, it wouldn’t be long until others would notice and take notes. Be nice not to be lauded but driven by genuine sincerity. Be nice so that you would be made an exemplar for others to follow suit because when everyone is nice, the world would be nicer even if life remains tough.

It took me culmination of years to embrace the notion. You know; of being nice. My childhood and adolescent years were unkind to me. I can relate to those who were pushed around for being unprivileged, ugly, dark complexion, Indian features, scruffy and boyish. You have no idea (or perhaps you do) living in a vicinity of privileged people and being unloved even by your family. But Alhamdulillah I turned to be alright. Kata orang-orang tua jadi orang laaa jugak… Perhaps it is due to all those deprivation, I became more appreciative and sensitive to those within my radius. Eventually, I’ve learn that kindness will return to you but in different form and by different people. 

Just believe in Him.